Clarksville, TN – For Fredi and John in ‘15
A sense they needed to glean
From CJ and JT
Miller and CB
Are they to be part of the dream?
Bethancourt is now with Gwinnett
He’s clearly not ready yet
He can’t hit a lick
His fielding’s not slick
Pierzynski (!) looks like a much better bet
Teheran has been up and down
At home? He takes the crown
But go away from the Ted
And JT craps the bed
Shouldn’t he be more dominant by now?
Miller has been a rock
Every five days when he’s on the clock
But he hasn’t won since May
With a (slowly) climbing ERA
His second half will be closely watched
And that brings us ‘round to CJ
Who finally demanded a trade
Can I interest a contender
In a one-dimensional pretender
Who takes home nearly $8 million in pay?
The Braves are six games behind
As we near buy or sell time
Gammons, Olney and Stark
Will be circling like sharks
Seeking scoops of a trade-deadline kind
Will John Hart be willing to part
With Cam Maybin, for a start
Or Jim Johnson, who could
Fetch a high price, which would
Make Hart look like quite the sharp
Like as not, they must do some dealing
For such is the direness of being
In the midst of the East
When Washington’s beasts
Look to leave their contenders bleeding
So John will go work his magic
Conjuring prospects is habit
I trust he will steal
A considerable deal
From Preller or Stewart, who are tragic
And thus we will set the scene
And eagerly await ‘17
Mallex, Peraza, Albies
Toussaint, Tyrell and Fried
Even Davidson could be up, we’ll see
There’s no telling what the lineup will be
Once they open up STP
But til then they’ll struggle
And occasionally scuffle
Enjoy seeing far too much of Eury
What to Read
This seems like a good time to talk about John Smoltz attempting to elbow his way into the discussion for ‘kookiest thing ever said by a former athlete’ with his comments late last week about how the Mets young starting rotation – Matt Harvey, Noah Syndergaard, et al. – is “way better” and has “more talent than we (Smoltz, Tom Glavine and Greg Maddux) ever could have.”
Since Smoltz is about to join Glavine and Maddux in Cooperstown, this seems like hyperbole. Glavine is in the discussion for best lefty of his generation, Maddux staked a good claim to ‘best hurler alive’ honors for an exemplary stretch from 1992-95 and if Smoltz is your third wheel, that’s a hell of a tricycle you’ve got there. Maybe Harvey, Syndergaard and the boys have ‘more talent’ (debatable, but whatever), but they are also a long way off from being ‘way better’ or ‘better’ or ‘as good’ or ‘approaching the greatness achieved by…’
If you only catch one game of the Cardinals series, make it…
Sunday’s contest should be Shelby Miller’s triumphant return to Cardinal Country (I’m certain The Best Fans in Baseball™ will be courteous when they welcome him back), so do be certain to see that. However, there’s no reason to miss any of these – clever as they are with computers, surely a member of the Cardinals front office will be able to get you a secure feed of the contest wherever you are.
Complementary Old-Timey Baseball Quote
“Hate the city, hate the ballpark, hate the Mets. Other than that, it’s great.” – Tom Pagnozzi, then-Cardinals catcher, on a three-game stopover in New York City. Featured in The Sporting News Chronicle of 20th Century in Sport
Best Performance by a former Brave last week
Craig Kimbrel saved three games last week for a going-nowhere Padres team, which probably takes the cake, although Jason Heyward can hang his hat on a five-hit performance on Sunday. However, it wouldn’t be proper to exit this space without once again mentioning Mark Teixeira, who hit .500 last week and had this somewhat-fawning-yet-deserved (he really has been a revelation this season) Grantland piece written on him. Quite the resurgence for ol’ Tex, a guy everyone assumed was washed up three years ago.
